She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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