you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
