I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
