I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
