you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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