the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
