i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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