I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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