I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
