I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
