I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
