There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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