I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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