I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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