That's intense
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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