So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
