HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
