If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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