my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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