i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
