Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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