I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
