I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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