oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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