went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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