He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
