did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
