Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
