as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
