Ambien. No doubt about it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
