We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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