dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone signed my nipple.
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