i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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