ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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