so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Im part way to drunk.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
