youre lurking in front of me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
