so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
