I'm really into asian looking animals
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
