So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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