I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
