God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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