this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
