I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
