YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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