he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
