I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he shaved USA in his pubs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
