Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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