my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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