Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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