I wanna bring you to show and tell
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
