oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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