Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
