just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
