Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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