i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize