She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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