your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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