Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
