You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
