How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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