How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
